Help Meet – Wives

What does it mean to be a help meet? How do we live as a Biblical wife and mother according to Scripture? Let’s look at the definition of help meet first.

And 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 Alahym said, “It is not good for the man to be alone, I am going to make a helper for him, as his counterpart.”

Barashyt/Genesis 2:18

𐤏𐤆𐤓 AZaR – H5828 – help, help meet, succour (relief, bring aid, to run to the rescue, assist, carry, bridge, favor)

This same word is used in context of our Father being our help, shield, and deliverer several times.

“Our being has longed for 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄; Our help and our shield is He.”

Tahalym/Psalms 33:20

But I am poor and needy; Hasten to me, O Alahym! You are my help and my deliverer; O 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄, do not delay

Tahalym/Psalms 70:5

Barashyt/Genesis 2:21-24 says that woman was taken from man. The word used here for woman is 𐤀𐤔𐤄 AShAh H802 and is used throughout Scripture for woman and wife.

So 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 Alahym caused a deep sleep to fall on the man, and he slept. And He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. And the rib which 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 Alahym had taken from the man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And the man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. This one is called ‘woman,’ because she was taken out of man.” For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Barashyt/Genesis 2:21-24

What does it mean to be a good helpmeet? Let’s take a little bunny trail to look at a few key wives (AShAh) who were supposed to be a helpmeet (AZaR) but in some instances they were testing 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 and going against His order. Please know I am in NO way saying these women weren’t righteous, just looking at the specific instance.

The first would be Adam (ADaM) listening to Eve (ChUAh) who listened to the serpent/nachash. She added to the Word of 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 in responding to the serpent, which gave him an open door and leverage to deceive her.

Barashyt/Genesis 3:2-3 “And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ”

compare that to Barashyt/Genesis 2:16-17 given to Adam “And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”

ONE little phrase twisted gave satan the power for sin to creep in. Then it was the blame game and it has been ever since.

Sarah (ShaRAh) and Abraham (ABRAhM) the epitome relationship of what we strive for, right? She understandably grew weary and I’m sure very upset that she was unable to bear a child to raise up her husband’s name. She had been given a promise, but she was tired of waiting. So in true women’s fashion, she took it upon herself to give her husband a 2nd wife. Then she became very jealous of Hagar (AhGaR) her female servant when she quickly and easily became pregnant. She acted out hatefully towards her and Hagar acted out against her mistress. All in all – stinky fruit.

We all know the story right? Isaac & Rebekah’s children and the promise. In Barashyt/Genesis 25:29-34 we see Esau (AShU) sell his birthright to Jacob (Ya’AQaB) for a bowl of stew of lentils (NaZYD ADaSh). Isaac (YaTsaChaQ) was growing old and he called his oldest son, Esau to give him a blessing. Rebekah (RaBaQAh) heard it and told her son Jacob. Knowing she had been given the promise back in Genesis 25:22-23 “But the children struggled together within her; and she said, “If all is well, why am I like this?” So she went to inquire of 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄.

And 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 said to her:
“Two nations are in your womb,
Two peoples shall be separated from your body;
One people shall be stronger than the other,
And the older shall serve the younger.”

Instead of waiting on 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 to provide the way her son Isaac Jacob would receive his blessing, she usurped her husband and 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄. Which sent her son fleeing for his life and separation from them altogether as Esau wasn’t too happy.

The next story is a bit of jealousy as well. Maybe systemic generational curses from usurping? Perhaps a man’s eyes got the lust of him before asking 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 which woman was best for him? Barashyt/Genesis 29 starts out that Jacob (Ya’AQaB) saw Rachel (RaChaL) the shepherdress. Upon hearing that she was the daughter of Laban his mother’s brother, he is so overcome with emotion he kisses her and decides she’s the one he wants to marry. Plot twist, back at the house, we learn Laban has another daughter Leah (LaA’Ah) and she was the eldest of the 2. Homeboy is broke and doesn’t have any way to pay the bridal price so he makes a deal to work for their dad for Rachel. Basically he gets a little too much fun in him during the wedding feast, Laban tricks him and gives him Leah to sleep with that night. Then he still INSISTS to have Rachel for a 2nd wife.

Next up in the end of Barashyt/Genesis 29 going into 30, Rachel who Jacob loves, can’t conceive, but her sister Leah is a fertile one. Ohhhh so as if 2 wives isn’t enough Rachel, not learning from Sarah, decides she’s going to give her husband her handmaid servant, Bilhah, as a wife. Fantastic idea right? Wrong. Nothing but jealousy – you can see it in the meanings of the names. Ofta! Leah stops bearing children so she one ups her sister by giving Jacob a 4th wife, Zilpah. And this my friends is where we come from, the 12 tribes of Jacob (Ya’AQaB) which make up the whole of Israel (Yashar’al) and are the seed of Abraham. What a soap opera. Does anyone see the stinky fruit of polygamy? No thank you, I am enough for my husband to provide for and meet the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of. (end of side note rant)

“A capable wife is the crown of her husband, But one causing shame is like rottenness in his bones.”

Mashly/Proverbs 12:4

Capable – Virtuous – 𐤇𐤉𐤋 ChYaL H2428. This word relates back to army, man of valour, host, strength/might/strong, riches, wealth, power, substance. Are we going to battle for our husbands daily? Are we armoring up with the full armor of 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 for our husbands? That’s likened to being a crown on his head. See Ephesians 6.

We can choose 1 of 2 responses
Lift up our husbands or tear them down.
Husband frustrated? Don’t engage in the emotion, get on your knees and pray
We can choose to be offended and invite the tension, or we can breathe deep and diffuse it.

A tangible thing to do when your husband is frustrated, make a list of all the things he did for you that day, write down his good qualities, write a letter to him thanking him for what he’s done.

A foolish son is a calamity to his father, And the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping. Houses and riches are the inheritance from fathers, But an understanding wife is from 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄.

Mashly/Proverbs 19:13-14

The word for contentions here is MaDaYN 𐤌𐤃𐤉𐤍 same as Midian for strife who Yashar’al was always striving against. Do we want to be a Midianite woman or an understanding, prudent one?

The word for understanding is ShaKaL H7919 𐤔𐤊𐤋 which means to be prudent, circumspect, wisely understand, prosper, have insight, give attention to, consider/ponder.

Who does find a capable wife? For she is worth far more than rubies. The heart of her husband shall trust her, And he has no lack of gain. She shall do him good, and not evil, All the days of her life. She shall seek wool and flax, And with delight she works with her hands. She shall be as the ships of Tarshish, She brings in her food from afar. She also rises while it is still night, And provides food for her household, And what is lawfull for her girls. She shall consider a field and buy it; From her profits she shall plant a vineyard. She shall gird herself with strength, And strengthen her arms. She shall taste when her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out by night. She shall stretch out her hands to the distaff, And her hand shall hold the spindle. She shall extend her hand to the poor, And she shall reach out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is dressed in scarlet. She shall make tapestry for herself; She is dressed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. She shall make fine linen and sell them, And shall give girdles for the merchants. Strength and splendour are her garments, And she rejoices in time to come. She shall open her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the Turah of loving-commitment. She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children shall rise up and call her blessed; Her husband too, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done nobly, But you have risen over them all.” Loveliness is deceptive And prettiness is vain, A woman who fears 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

Mashly/Proverbs 31:10-31

The famous Proverbs 31 woman, who can live up to that? Well maybe it’s not so much as a list of has tos, but rather showing you the heart of a virtuous woman. Does your husband trust that you’ll take care of the children while he’s working? Can he count on having clean clothes for the next day and food prepared most days when he comes home? Can he trust that you’re going to know when the children need to get the next size of clothes and you have an account of what food is left in the pantry? Can he trust that you’ll speak well of him when he isn’t there? (I’m not talking about asking advice from a trusted sister in discipleship)

Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife.

Mashly/Proverbs 25:24

Does your home feel inviting and peaceful? Not perfect and sterile, but cozy and comforting without chaos and grief? When he walks in the door, do you greet him and welcome him safely returning with a smile? We set the tone to our home, handing him a list of things that are broken, telling him everything that went wrong, and saying I need me time when he hasn’t unwound for the day, isn’t going to lighten his or your burden.

But you, speak what is fitting for sound teaching: the older men are to be sober, serious, sensible, sound in belief, in love, in endurance, the older women likewise are to be set-apart in behaviour, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of what is good, in order for them to train the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, blameless, workers at home, good, subject to their own husbands, in order that the word of Alahym is not evil spoken of.

Titus 2:1-5

Pray over your families, diligently
Folding laundry? Pray
Doing dishes? Pray
Sweeping the floor? Pray
Wiping up a spill? Pray

In the same way, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that if any are disobedient to the Word, they, without a word, might be won by the behaviour of their wives, having seen your blameless behaviour in fear. Your adornment should not be outward – arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on dresses – but the hidden man of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a meek and peaceable spirit, which is of great value before Alahym. For in this way, in former times, the set-apart women who trusted in Alahym also adorned themselves, being subject to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him master, of whom you became children, doing good, and not frightened by any fear.

1 Peter/Kapa 3:2-6

Blessed are all who fear 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄, Who walk in His ways. You shall eat the labour of your hands. Be blessed, and let it be well with you. Let your wife be As a fruit-bearing vine within your house, Your sons like olive plants all around your table. Look, so shall the man be blessed Who fears 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 . 𐤉𐤄𐤅𐤄 shall bless you out of TsYUN/Zion, And let you see the good of YaRUShaLaM/Jerusalem All the days of your life, And let you see your children’s children! Peace be upon Yashar’al/Israel!

Tahalym/Psalms 128